Woman Blows Up On Her Husband And Threatens Police Involvement For Stealing Her Money

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juliamal
Jun 30, 2022 7:00 PM EDT

With marriage can come along a lot of issues regarding money. We all have different ideas of how to spend, save, and when to discuss taking money out. When two people can't communicate about these things and their habits don't align, problems ensue. Personally, I'm grateful I don't share a bank account with anyone right now. I've got about $5 to my name at the moment, and I just don't see how I could share that with someone. 

In today's Am I The A$$hole post, OP asks if she's an A$$hole for blowing up on her husband for taking money out of their IVF savings to loan a friend. Who's in the wrong here? Should OP's husband be discussing these decisions beforehand? Is it their shared money, or does she have more of a claim to it since it's largely hers? Scroll down for more context and let us know what you think. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAsshole. Posted by u/throwra5755557 9 hours ago 2 3 3 6 AITA for getting back the money my husband took from our IVF treatment and gave to his friend? To start off I want to say that my husband (36M) has an old friend (33M) that he's known since highschool. they're inseperable and spend the entire week together. like they're really really close. My husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. we recently started new method (IVF) in hopes to get at least one child toget
    via u/throwra5755557
  • 02
    Font - Last week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his "old junk" car and he decided to "lend" him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would've done the same for him. I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guaranteed his friend will pay us back in time
    via u/throwra5755557
  • 03
    Rectangle - Imchatterbox. 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA. That was money you saved/inherited. That means you ARE the one paying for it and he DID steal from you. 13.5k Reply Share
    via u/Imchatterbox
  • 04
    Font - MaybeAWalrus. 9 hr. ago. edited 8 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [79] He "corrected" me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I "make up" for it by paying for the IVF myself. I hate to say it, but unless he apologize profuselly and makes amends, you should run. This man has no respect for you. How could he say something so hurtful to the person he is supposed to love? If this is really what he thinks of you, he doesn't deserve you. ΝΤΑ. Edit: I striked out a
    via u/MaybeAWalrus
  • 05
    Rectangle - Country-girl-2212 Asshole Enthusiast [9] - 9 hr. ago Oh Hon...you are not "in this together"...do not have a child with this man. ΝΤΑ 9.8k ↓ Reply Share
    via u/Country-girl-2212
  • 06
    Font - DustyOwl32 - 9 hr. ago NTA. He doesn't seem like he actually wants kids. Better idea, divorce him and get a sperm doner/ surrogate. ↑ 6.5k Reply Share
    via u/DustyOwl32
  • 07
    Font - Sarabanana 97.9 hr. ago 2 ΝΤΑ Your husband should have asked you about it first and it would've been your decision not his. On another topic, it is not your fault for your fertility issues. Maybe it's the fate telling you not to do it with this man. There's too many red flags here. He doesn't contribute as much as he can. He thinks it's your responsibility. He will think that about the child as well. He doesn't respect you enough to include you in decisions kf importance. He feels like wh
    via u/Sarabanana
  • 08
    Font - zszal. 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. Are you sure your husband and this guy are just really good friends? I can't imagine giving $7000 to my close friends from high school so they can buy a car! Seems weird to me. Also, not to pull the divorce card, but holy guacamole. If you and your husband have such different views of financial responsibility and money management, I'm not sure how your marriage lasts in the long term. Sorry you're going through this. If you continue with IVF treatmen
    via u/zszal
  • 09
    Font - Accurate-Fisherman68 . 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] ΝΤΑ. I don't see how your marriage can come back from this. 708 Reply Share
    via u/Accurate-Fisherman68
  • 10
    Font - StonewoodApothecary. 9 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA and I think it's evident at this point you are no longer in a committed relationship. Your husband has finally revealed several things to you. Something I don't think you realize that he revealed is that he no longer thinks you will have a child no matter what. If he was in it to have a child he wouldn't have pulled that money out to begin with. It was a hit or miss on whether or not the friend could repay that 7 k in time. If he needed
    via u/StonewoodApothecary
  • 11
    Font - Individual_Moose8399 - 9 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA and I'd be looking for a divorce lawyer. He has put his friend getting a new car above you trying for a child and blames you for an issue that you neither instigated nor asked for. He is not the man for you. Reply Share 544
    via u/Individual_Moose8399
  • 12
    Font - _neontangles - 8 hr. ago Partassipant [2] I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together. He "corrected" me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I "make up" for it by paying for the IVF myself. This is one of the cruelest things you could say to a person. Please, PLEASE, don't have a child with him. And I would honestly seriously reconsider this relationship c
    via u/_neontangles
  • 13
    Font - YEET-HAW-BOI. 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. take a moment and really think. "Do I want to be with this guy and HAVE CHILDREN, in this economy and state of the world, with him when he can so easily drop everything to take 7K to give to his friend for a CAR." If you don't divorce him then I think counseling is very much in order because it really seems like he prioritizes his friend more than you and your future family unit. Reply Share 246
    via u/YEET-HAW-BOI
  • 14
    Rectangle - eiros147 - 8 hr. ago ΝΤΑ I feel the IVF not working its a blessing in disguise, having a child with a man who treats you like that doesn't sound like a good idea. 53 Reply Share
    via u/eiros147
  • 15
    Font - Sauc3ySloth - 9 hr. ago NTA. You're married and that entails making financial decisions together. 1. No one should be pulling out of any savings fund without talking to the other person. 2. He's the selfish one. And, he's mean. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Is this the first time he's gaslighted you like this? +94 + Reply Share ...
    via u/Sauc3ySloth
  • 16
    Font - sage_ley. 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] Did he marry you or his friend? He is so wrong on both counts, take money you saved without discussion and for the nasty comment. Big big big NTA 35 Reply Share
    via u/sage_ley

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